the devil be tryin [lyrics]

the same thang

im running from, 

keeps catching me. 

feet going numb.  

i can't complain, 

this life is good,

but it gets hard

in this neighborhood.  

i went to church.  

it's been a while.  

i came to praise,

but im feeling doubt.  

should I be here? 

ive been sinning now.  

got a few scars  

that need healing now.  

the devil be tryin.  

the devil be tryin me.  

he's saying thangs

that I know is wrong

and I've come too far

to be led along.  

but im caving ino

the conniving ghost. 

can't let him in.  

gotta let him go.  

the devil be tryin. 

the devil be tryin me.  

IE

metamorphosis 101

this fascinates me. watch the first 15 minutes. hella metaphorical.

Caterpillar

If you've never experienced any kind of struggle or breaking point in your life, you will not fuck with this project. This project is based on the Generation Y creative who dreams higher than they can reach, who wants more than they can handle, who is learning and hurting, yet pursuing. This project is the reality of our uncomfortable placement in the world right now; our limbo, our in-between, our cocoon.

Often times we dream of what we want without considering how much sacrifice it takes. I wanted to leave Cali and renew. I became desensitized by the overly dramatic people, sunshine and forced smiles. But New York was cold, and it changed me. It sucked all the sweetness from my soul fruit. Now, all that remains is faith in God and hope for a brighter day.

I know my wings are coming, and I'm faithful. I know it's not for nothing, so I'm hopeful. But I can't lie— it's hard out here, my nigga.

cold.

'cause when I come thru,

I'm taking everything.

& when I come thru,

replacing every queen.

look, when I come thru,

better hope you on my team,

or better get your shit seen

'fore I show up on the scene.

I ain't stopping 'till my pockets

full of green

and I'm rocking

seventeen

million fans in the stands

'cuz the flow's so mean.

they wanna know, yo,

how I get the dough, yo.

i tell them niggas, 'no no,

you don't need to know nothing.'

I'm losing my mind,

losing all the control in me.

losing the last

little bit of the soul in me.

soul was the only thing that was gold in me,

but niggas don't respect that shit.

tried to be humble,

but I had to forget that shit,

'cause she gon' treat you like a sucker 

till you check that bitch,

and he gon treat you like a bitch

until you show him who the realest is.

niggas tryna act like they ain't feeling this.

.... muhfuckas better get them bars ready.

disclaimer.

one of my favorite theater teachers always taught me not to use disclaimers before presenting work. he said, "let people see your art as it is, flaws & all. 9 times out of 10, they'll think it was planned." so I vowed to keep my art raw, & to leave the interpretation up to the interpreter. but see, often times I contradict myself, & this is one of those times. 

DISCLAIMER:

while reading this blog, please understand that my current state of mind is not my natural state of being. I'm in the lowest place I've been in a while. I'm far from home in this cold ass town, I'm all alone in this cold ass room, my money's not right, my mind's not right, and if that ain't enough, the only person I thought understood it all lost faith in me... & in us. anyway, I cry everyday, I cry in the middle of sentences, I'm just all fucked up right now lol. not sure why I wrote "lol" tho, 'cause I'm dead serious. God is the only thing that keeps me going. I thank Him that I'm still alive and that the people I love are alive & well .. that let's me know better days are coming. but as of now, my heart is cracked and cold, and writing is the only thing that seems to bring me peace.

so take that into consideration, and just give me time. soon enough, I'll be that butterfly, I'll grow them wings, but as of now, I'm just here inching along.

-I.E.